Worthy Property Bonds is excited to feature Dr. Julia Myers, an international speaker and the national expert on talking to kids about money. She is the founder of Generational Wisdom™ and mother of five with a mission to empower families to raise financially mature children without entitlement.
Worthy will present content by guest speakers as part of our goal to promote thought leadership in the fields of finance, savings, investing and community impact.
What Kids Really Need to Know
It was a regular weeknight at the dinner table, nothing special just chicken and rice and tired chatter, when my five-year-old daughter looked up and asked, “Mom, are we rich?”
She wasn’t trying to be cute or clever. She wasn’t comparing us to anyone. She was just trying to make sense of the world. But her innocent question carried a weight I wasn’t expecting. I paused, caught between explaining what was true on paper and what I hoped she would carry in her heart.
I glanced at my husband. Then I gently asked, “Well, what do you think it means to be rich?”
She answered without missing a beat: “It means you can do anything you want, whenever you want.”
Before I could respond, my older daughter chimed in: “That’s not rich. That’s wealthy. And we’re both.”
The table went quiet, not because the conversation was over, but because I realized it had only just begun.
Rich is what you see. Wealth is what you feel.
The first time I ever felt rich, I was 18 and holding a crumpled $100 bill for the first time. It smelled like a wallet and felt like freedom. That kind of moment imprints on you. But as I got older, I saw how quickly that feeling fades.
Same with cereal. Growing up, anything with a brand-name just wasn’t something we purchased. But one sleepover, I had my first bowl of real-deal Captain Crunch with Berries. That first bite? Glorious. For about 90 seconds. Then it turned soggy. Just like the bagged cereal we had at home.
Even as a child, I began noticing: a lot of what looks rich doesn’t last—and certainly doesn’t always mean more. That’s the first lesson in this journey: rich is visible; wealth is lived.
Being rich is about what you can show. The external factors validated by likes and comments. The vacation. The luxury car. The new tech and high-end sneakers. Rich is often circumstantial. It relies on income, markets, titles. All things that can change—or vanish. Rich lives in comparison, and if you look hard enough, you’ll always find someone to win or lose against.
Being rich is about what you can show. Wealth is a mindset.
But wealth doesn’t play the comparison game, it’s built from within. Wealth is a mindset. It’s knowing that even when the applause quiets, your value comes from within you, not what is around you. Wealth is built from discernment of realizing every YES is a no to something else and every NO is a yes to something different.
In our home, discernment shows up in things like:
- Choosing a midsize SUV over the luxury model to free up margin for generosity
- Turning down a third extracurricular to protect our family time
- Letting our kids sit with delayed gratification, even when it’s inconvenient
While traveling abroad this summer, we noticed something that stopped us in our tracks. In a small rural village, nearly all the shops opened late—around 11 a.m.—and closed by 4 p.m. No late hours, no constant hustle. Just a quiet rhythm that reflected something deeper.
Our kids were initially confused. “Why would they close before dinner?” one of them asked. “They could make so much more money if they were open with all these tourists,” another adds. And the youngest adds, “I think they want something besides more customers. I think they want to go home and be with their families.”
But that question led to a beautiful conversation about values. About how, in that town, work supported life—not the other way around. About how enoughness was built into their schedule.
One of my children said it best, after we walked through the quiet square that evening: “It feels like they work so they can have a full life. Not a full schedule.”
That’s wealth. Not in what’s earned, but in what’s honored. Not in how late the lights stay on, but in how present people are when they’re together.
The Messages They’re Already Receiving
Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist, coined the term money scripts—the subconscious stories we carry about money, often passed down without intention. Whether the story is, “We don’t talk about money,” or “We’ll be fine, don’t worry about it”, silence is still a script.
And in affluent homes, silence about money can be especially loud.
One couple I worked with had all the visible signs of success: a second home, tuition paid, a thriving business. But their teenager shut down every time money was mentioned. Not because of rebellion, but because he’d never been invited into the conversation. His assumptions filled in the gaps, and entitlement started to take root. And everything changed when he asked, “why is money so important, but we never talk about it?”
What changed wasn’t their bank balance. It was their family’s explanation of what money meant to them. When one parent shared money meant safety and the other parent explained money was for growth and investing, no wonder there were mixed messages when it wasn’t talked about.
They stopped asking, “Can we afford it?” and started asking, “Does this reflect our values?” That’s when things shifted.
For our family, a similar wake-up call came early in the return to the “new normal” coming out of the pandemic. White space on our weeknight schedule was quickly filling up and the wake up came when we asked, “Does our weekly schedule reflect our values?” The silence was revealing. We had values, but we hadn’t named them, and we certainly hadn’t mapped them onto how we were spending our time, energy, or money.
Mapping values back into our calendar made me feel like I was winning again—even on the days I was dragging myself to the 5K I signed up for when I really wanted to sleep in.
As Bill Perkins writes in Die With Zero, “money is a tool, not a trophy, and that distinction shifts how we teach kids about enough.”
What Wealth Really Looks Like
Wealth isn’t about having it all, it’s about knowing what matters most and aligning your decisions accordingly. That clarity of purpose is what kids remember. And it’s what lasts.
Morgan Housel writes in The Psychology of Money, “Doing well with money has little to do with intelligence and a lot to do with behavior.” I’ve seen this firsthand. It’s not about spreadsheets. It’s about modeling calm, consistent choices grounded in your core beliefs. Saying yes to what matters to you, not to anyone else, and living with intention. A budget is simply a plan—and you’re the one who gets to direct it with intention.
And as Jamie Kern Lima reminds us in her book Worthy: “Your self-worth is not equal to your net worth.” I would add—and your legacy isn’t defined by what your kids inherit, but by what they carry forward.
Wealth isn’t a number, it’s a mindset. A posture. A pattern of making values-aligned decisions, even when there’s no applause.
The rich mindset performs. The wealth mindset protects. One is concerned with how things look. The other is built to last.
The rich mindset performs. The wealth mindset protects.
It’s explaining to your child why you say no to buying souvenirs in every city you visit so you have more money to spend on experiences. Who really needs another magnet, when you can kayak in the Norwegian fjords?
It’s talking about why you said no to the third extracurricular because time, too, is currency.
It’s helping your teen open a Roth IRA, not because it looks impressive now, but because you both know what it will mean later.
It’s remembering that wealth is having options—and the wisdom to not exercise all of them.
Four ways to Build Real Wealth at Home
You don’t need a trust fund to build true wealth. These are shifts any family can make, starting today:
- Teach Stewardship, Not Just Spending
Every yes or no tells a story. When you make a financial decision, say it out loud. “We’re waiting because we want to give more this quarter.” - Show Trade-Offs in Real Time
Let kids see what you're prioritizing and why. “We picked this trip because it lets us spend more time together—not because it’s the fanciest.” - Rotate the Table Talk Role
Let each child lead a simple family budget conversation. Not about totals—just choices. What would they prioritize with $100? - Create a Family Constitution
Choose 3–5 core values as a family. Then check your calendar and bank statement: do they match? If not, adjust and write down goals and actions that will show how you are living your values with your time, money and attention, not with guilt.
Why This Matters for Their Future
As one mother put it, during a recent conversation, “I used to think my job was to give my kids everything I didn’t have. Now I realize my job is to give them what they need: discipline, discernment, and room to grow.”
Being rich might help your kids live comfortably but being wealthy helps them live wisely.
4 Practical Ways to Build Wealth Daily
Here are four small shifts families can start today to move from “rich” to truly wealthy:
- Pause before saying yes.
Every purchase is a teaching moment. Ask: “What’s the cost and what is the value? What is the real motivation behind the purchase?" - Talk through trade-offs.
Let your kids hear the why behind your choices. “We’re doing this instead of that because this lines up with our values.” - Involve them in giving.
Let them help choose a charity or fund a small project. It shows them money’s purpose goes beyond personal gain. - Name what matters.
Revisit your family’s core values. Align your calendar and spending with what you say is important.
Wealth isn’t just what you leave behind. It’s what you live at the dinner table, in the checkout line, during those in-between moments.
What My Five-Year-Old Was Really Asking
She wasn’t asking about dollars. She was asking about direction. About security. About whether our life was as stable as it felt. And isn’t that what most kids want to know?
"Are we okay?"
"Will I have what I need?"
"Are we the kind of people who use what we have wisely?"
That’s the work. Not just financial provision—but identity formation. So if she asks again, here’s what I hope I’m ready to say:
“Yes, sweetheart. We are rich in many ways. But more than that, I know we’re wealthy in love, in wisdom, in clarity. Because that’s what will guide you long after the money is spent.”
That’s what I want her to grow up knowing:
Being rich may give you options. Being wealthy gives you clarity. Rich may impress. Wealth gives peace.
Rich can look great from the outside. But true wealth? It’s measured by the kind of adult your child becomes and the kind of legacy your family lives, not just leaves.
Because your child won’t just inherit your house; they’ll inherit your habits.
References
- Jamie Kern Lima, Worthy (2024)
- Morgan Housel, The Psychology of Money (2020)
- Dr. Brad Klontz, “Money Scripts,” Journal of Financial Therapy (2011)
Talking about money with kids doesn't have to be awkward. Get Dr. Myers' FREE e-book, "5 family-friendly money questions" by clicking here.
Dr. Myers Contact Info
- julia@juliamyers.com
- 480-235-2998 Cell
- www.juliamyers.com
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